Fortune Cookie Wisdom
by Badfluffy
Summary: Alicia and Kalinda have a late night conversation about cookies, wisdom and other facts of life.


Fortune Cookie Wisdom

Disclaimer: All the fortunes hereby used are real (I couldn't make up things like that) and no fortune cookie was harmed in the making of that fic. Also, nobody in there belongs to me, sadly, and I'm just borrowing them from the Kings and CBS for a bit to have fun with them. They'll be home before sundown, or maybe just after, don't worry.

If you see any glaring grammatical mistake or something out of place, please let me know and I'll slap myself around about it for a while and correct it, of course.

_"Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation..." _- Oscar Wilde

* * *

"The truth sometimes comes from another's hand."

Alicia looked up from the strip of paper she was holding to glance at her dinner companion, who was looking back at her quizzically.

"What?" Kalinda made no effort to disguise her incredulity.

They were sitting at Alicia's desk over late night Chinese takeout. It had been a long day and she had suggested they grabbed something to eat while deciding what to do in the morning.

They had barely finished the food when she excitedly grabbed one of the fortune cookies, removed the tiny paper from its shell and read aloud.

She popped one half of the cookie in her mouth. "Do you want me read to it again?"

"No thanks. Once is enough." Kalinda reached for the remaining half of the cookie.

Alicia read the fortune again silently and smoothed the sliver of paper down onto the desk with a smile. "I like it."

"Of course you do..." She heard Kalinda chuckle wryly and looked up to scan the investigator's face. "What?"

"It's a fortune cookie, Alicia... pseudo-spirituality in a soundbite.", Kalinda replied, flashing one of those patient smiles usually reserved for children who cling to Santa Claus fantasies.

"It's not just that."

Alicia had always loved fortune cookies. Her Dad would have lunch almost everyday at a small Chinese restaurant just around the corner from his office and he'd bring her the cookies. Soon, he'd also collected the fortunes from his coworkers to give to Alicia and they'd gathered quite a collection. They would ponder them together late at night, when he came home from work and slipped into her room to kiss her goodnight.

"Most of the time, when you really read it, you find it applies to you… or something happens that puts them in a new light and it all makes sense somehow..."

Kalinda rolled her eyes mockingly. "Yeah sure... 'somehow'..."

By now, Alicia had become familiar with her dry sense of humor and she knew she didn't mean anything by it so she only pretended to be hurt. She crossed her arms with a pout. "You're making fun of me."

Kalinda frowned suddenly, as in concern, but just as Alicia was about to reassure her that she hadn't really been offended, the investigator asked "What gave me up?" with a wicked grin.

Alicia giggled at her own credulity. "You got me."

Kalinda leaned forward resting her elbows on the table. "Sometimes, I swear, you are so naive, I could..." She was interrupted by the sound of Alicia's phone vibrating on the desk.

Alicia glanced at the screen and lightly tapped the keyboard. "It's Peter. He must be wondering how much longer I'll be."

"You're not taking his call?"

She replied absent-mindedly. "We're not going to be very long, are we?"

"I dunno. Why don't you open the other cookie? Maybe it'll give you a clue." Kalinda teased.

Alicia let out a good natured laugh. "I never said they predicted the future. They're just... I don't know… like puzzle pieces." She shrugged at Kalinda who was shaking her head in mock disbelief.

"It's like astrology, Alicia! They stay cryptic so that you'll find a way to make the shoe fit if you really want it to but that doesn't make it true."

She stroked the paper with the tip of her finger reverently. "It's more than that."

"So you've said." It was hard to miss the sarcasm in Kalinda's voice.

"Why do you dislike them so much?"

Kalinda took a deep breath, staring into the empty space on the other side of the glass. She was so closed off to the people around her that Alicia often wondered if anyone really knew her at all. Earlier in their relationship, she would have thought the investigator was looking for a reply that wouldn't reveal too much about herself. Now she knew Kalinda was merely trying to translate her thoughts into proper concepts that Alicia would understand. They were so different in every respect, sometimes it felt like they were not even speaking the same language.

Kalinda seemed to consider for a moment then said "I don't like the idea that my fate can be summed up on a piece of paper found in a cookie." She looked back to her. "Why do you like them so much?"

Alicia decided she'd be the one not sharing, for once. Retreat was the best option. "I don't know... you're right, it's probably stupid."

From the look on Kalinda's face and the annoyed sigh that preceded her reply, it wasn't going to be that easy. "You always give up so easily"

She chuckled softly. "You want me to fight you about fortune cookies?"

"If you believe in them", Kalinda replied matter-of-factly, "then yeah." Her tone reminded Alicia of her mother's when she was telling her to "Speak up. Nobody will hear you if you keep mumbling". Although with Kalinda, it was not exactly harsh, nor condescending, it was more challenging.

Alicia straightened up. Maybe if she sounded assertive enough, she wouldn't have to go into details.

"I don't 'believe in them'. I just like them." She paused, hoping Kalinda would say something to break the silence but she just stared at her patiently, waiting for her to elaborate. Obviously she wasn't getting away with an evasive answer. "My Dad...", Alicia sighed. "When I was a little girl, my Dad and I used to try and figure them out."

Kalinda nodded, as if things suddenly made sense. "Your Dad was a takeout junkie?"

"You can say that. He'd bring a few fortunes home each night and we'd have fun deciphering them together. We even had a scrapbook to keep the best ones." She smiled a little sadly at the fond childhood memories.

"So it's a family thing." Kalinda made it sound like a genetic flaw but nothing in her voice was disapproving or judgmental. She was just filing away the answer to one more mystery solved. That was her way of processing things.

Alicia corrected her. "Used to be." Silence filled the room again. She could tell by the way Kalinda was observing her that she had something on her mind. "What now?"

"You don't talk about your parents a lot."

Alicia couldn't help but chuckle. "Look who's talking. The only thing I know about your parents or even you having parents at all is that they were immigrants. And considering what I know about you in general, that's a lot!"

She hoped somehow Kalinda would throw her a bone, anything, in the spirit of quid pro quo, but the investigator didn't take the bait. "Except in the year I've known you, I've heard you talk and talk about everyone in your life, but it's the first time you mention your Dad."

"It never came up, that's all." Alicia replied distractedly, only slightly disappointed she would be the only one sharing again. They had been there before; Alicia politely pointing out the unfair lack of balance in their relationship, Kalinda pretending not to notice.

"Okay then."

Kalinda was an expert at deception. To anyone else, it would have sounded like she was backing off but Alicia had become familiar with reading between the lines and she knew better than to fall for the nonchalance in her friend's voice. "You say this as if you think I'm hiding something."

"Sometimes the things you don't say are more revealing than the things you say."

"And sometimes they aren't." Smiling sweetly, Alicia made another half-hearted attempt at getting anything out of this conversation "If they were, I could write a book about you by now…"

"When did he die?"

"How do you...?" She had expected Kalinda to easily deflect her thinly veiled effort, and it was typical she would change the subject, but her words took her by surprise. How did Kalinda always seem to know everything she wasn't telling just by looking at her? Was she that transparent to everyone or just to her? She recovered quickly. "Sorry. I forgot who I was talking to. You know everything."

Kalinda ignored the sarcasm and instead answered the unfinished question that was still hanging in the air. "The way you talk about him... it wasn't hard to tell he's not in your life anymore."

It was Alicia's turn to change the subject. She wasn't especially eager to get back on topic and talk about her father's death, but anything was preferable to dwelling on the fact she had no secrets for Kalinda and Kalinda was nothing but secrets.

"I was a senior in High School. There was an accident."

Kalinda must have sensed her reticence so, instead of pressuring her for details, she waited a moment then asked simply "Were you close?"

"When I was younger, we were. He worked a lot but he always made the time for me when he was home. We…" She forgot what she was about to say when Kalinda looked to the side, smiling to herself. "What's funny?"

"Daddy's little girl." Kalinda teased.

Alicia shrugged. "I guess... Isn't it always the case with Dads and their daughters?"

"I dunno. Is it?" Kalinda feigned ignorance so Alicia pressed on.

"How was your relationship with your Dad?" _There. She couldn't exactly ignore that one, could she?_

Kalinda's tone was detached, unemotional. She gave nothing away. "We never waxed philosophical over fortune cookies, if that's what you're asking."

"It's not." Alicia stood her ground but she was smiling because she knew Kalinda was about to get her way again.

Kalinda rested her chin on her hand in a thoughtful pose, her lips curling into a mysterious smile "Hm. How about that?"

Acknowledging her defeat with a light-hearted laugh, Alicia shook her head "Of course. Don't I at least get points for trying?"

She was rewarded with a rare genuine smile and a wink. "You get a gold star".

Not giving up as easily as Alicia did, Kalinda returned to their original conversation. "So what happened?"

"He was driving home late one night. He fell asleep at the wheel."

"No. You said "when I was younger". Why didn't you stay close?"

"Oh. My parents grew apart. My mother was very invested in her job and they had little time for each other, I guess. They separated when I was 12. I didn't get to see my Dad a lot after that."

Kalinda was nodding. "And you blamed your mother."

"I never said that." Alicia frowned. _Had she_?

"You just did. You said…"

Alicia interrupted her, insisting "No. I said they separated."

"And that your mother was too invested in her career." Kalinda was not exactly stubborn but when she had an opinion, changing her mind was not an easy task.

Alicia laughed it off. "I didn't say 'too invested'."

"But that's what you meant." Persistence was one of Kalinda's most admirable traits… most of the time.

For some reason, Alicia suddenly felt very protective of her mother. Not because Kalinda was judging her too harshly but because she was echoing the thoughts of a younger, more naive Alicia, one who had indeed been blaming her mother. In that moment, she realized her own life had changed her perspective.

"No. She just... she made choices, that's all."

"Choices that separated you from your father," Kalinda continued, unyielding.

"Choices that separated us all." This was not about her mother.

"I see." Alicia could tell it wasn't a surrender. Kalinda only relented because she could sense her guilt.

The conversation was getting too intense for a late night at the office. She cleared her throat. "Anyway... we had great times before that."

"With fortune cookies." Back to sarcasm. Kalinda's personal contribution to lightening the mood.

Alicia laughed lightly. "Yes. Sometimes with fortune cookies." Kalinda was observing her again. "Now what?"

"Now I see why you like them so much. You find comfort in them."

"Maybe." Alicia knew she was right but she chose not to admit to anything. Let her be the mysterious one, for once.

"From safer times, when you were still Daddy's little princess." There it was again. That tone. Not quite mocking but with a trace of mockery… or something.

"Why are you teasing me about this?" It was not exactly an accusation. At least she hoped it didn't come across that way.

"I'm not. I was just thinking it explains so much."

She was relieved to hear there was nothing defensive or even apologetic about Kalinda's answer. Still, she was curious to see where this was going.

"Like what?"

"The way you act around the men in your life." Kalinda shrugged one shoulder, as if she was pointing out the obvious.

Alicia crossed her arms on her chest before she could call back the gesture. "And which way is that?"

"You play by their rules, you smooth yourself out, looking for approval, but not too demanding." There was no criticism or contempt to Kalinda's dry recital of facts. She was simply making dispassionate observations about Alicia's behavior as if reading from a checklist.

"I do?" Her mind flashed back to Georgetown, wedding rehearsals, courtrooms, press conferences, client meetings, talks about her career with Peter, strategy meetings with Will.

Kalinda mistook her silence for disagreement. "You're telling me it's not true?"

Alicia snapped out of her musings. "No... I... never thought of it that way."

It was as if a veil had been lifted and things she had only glanced at out of the corner of her eye were slowly coming into sharp focus. As she looked across the desk at Kalinda who was contemplating her nonchalantly, something occurred to her and a small laugh bubbled up past her lips.

Kalinda smiled as the tension in the room evaporated. "What's funny?"

"I never met anyone quite like you."

"Why are we talking about me all of a sudden?" For the first time in the evening, Kalinda sounded like she hadn't anticipated that particular turn of the conversation.

Alicia chuckled. "You know… if anyone, _anyone_, had told me what you just told me, I'd feel offended, insulted even."

"Then why don't you?" Kalinda's tone was not completely indifferent but she didn't appear to be taking it personally.

"I don't know." Alicia thought about it for a moment. "You're just the most honest... brutally honest person I have ever known."

"And that's bad?" She knew from her smile that Kalinda was goading her, daring her to challenge her bluntness.

"No. It's good. It's nice to have someone in your life you can count on to always be truthful. I think I'm getting used to it too. People tend to say something and mean something else. You don't do that."

The investigator smirked. "Looks like you just spent too much time in Highland Park."

"Maybe," Alicia answered with a grin. She sobered up abruptly. "You really think I'm 'smoothing myself out'?"

"Don't you?" This time, there was nothing deliberately provocative in Kalinda's reply. She was merely curious.

"I don't know. Maybe you're right." In truth, she didn't want to think about it.

"See? You always give up too easily. If you don't think I'm right, it's okay to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about." Typical Kalinda. Always pushing her to be more assertive, especially when Alicia didn't feel like it.

"And what if I believe you're right?"

"If you think I'm right, then you should change it." Everything sounded so simple for Kalinda, so obvious. Yet she probably perceived Alicia's skepticism and, gently, she added, "You deserve more than what you're settling for, Alicia. You should fight for that."

Alicia raised an eyebrow. "Are we still talking about work?"

"Were we ever talking about work?"

She sighed and looked away. "It's more complicated than that."

"No it's not. If you're unhappy with the way things are, you change the way things are."

She wondered if Kalinda knew how many times those exact thoughts had played in her head in the dark of her bedroom late at night. What? Running away? Getting a divorce? Breaking up her family just like her mother_…_ "I don't want to be my mother."

"Who said you had to?" She felt Kalinda's hand on her arm and she turned her face to hers.

"I want things to work out. I need them to work out." She hoped it didn't make her sound pathetic because that was not how she felt. She just wanted her family back.

"Then work them out. Don't wait on the sidelines for someone else to do it for you. You want something, you don't ask for it, you don't even demand it, you take it."

Alicia marveled at how deceivingly simple her friend's principles were. "Never say sorry, never say please." In reply to Kalinda's questioning frown, she added "it's something out of a book I read. It's a life philosophy for you, isn't it?"

"There are worse philosophies to live by."

Alicia envied her easy confidence. "Yes, there are."

"To any man _or _woman." Kalinda wore a mischievous grin as if she was letting Alicia in on a private joke.

"Sorry?"

"'Never say sorry, never say please. I never say either to any man', that's the quote. Why are you staring at me like I just told you I'm from Mars?"

Alicia shook her head with an amused smile. "I'm just amazed at how unpredictable you are."

"Because I read?"

"Because every time I think I know you a little, you'll say something or do something and I'm right back where I started."

Kalinda snorted derisively. "I'm a mystery."

"I think I'll crack you someday."

"Wow. A rare display of confidence. I like that."

"Maybe you'll like it less when I take you up on your advice." Alicia joked. Sometimes it felt like Kalinda was the only person she could joke with anymore, since Owen was not around. Everything was so complicated with everyone else in her life. She sobered up as she saw the serious look on the investigator's face. "Did I say something…"

"Why wouldn't I like it?" Kalinda interrupted her.

"Well, you keep telling me I should be more assertive, that I should work for what I want and I shouldn't take "no" for answer."

"So?"

"Do you think I will be like that only with other people? Don't you worry I'll be pushing you for answers?"

"I don't care. If that's what you want, go for it." She sounded sincere but Alicia knew her enough by now to recognize sandbagging when she saw it.

"You're only saying that."

"As long as you're happy..." Kalinda replied with an exaggerated sweet smile.

Alicia returned her smile. "I'll never get a straight answer from you on anything, will I?"

All pretenses dropped, Kalinda tipped her head to the side and batted her thick eyelashes at her with a toothy grin. "But you certainly can ask."

Alicia giggled. "I think I can wear you out."

"I think I can take you."

"We'll see about that."

They feel into an easy silence that made the vibration from Alicia's phone sound almost alien. She pressed a button and sighed. "Well... it's getting really late."

"Yep."

Kalinda was about to get up when Alicia stopped her with the lightest touch on her arm. "Wait... your fortune cookie."

She gave Alicia one of those half smiles that could mean many things but were most often used to tease her. "You can have it... my treat."

Alicia pushed the discarded cookie toward Kalinda, insisting. "No, no, no... you open it."

"Alicia, I get why you like them but I didn't change my mind."

She gave Kalinda one of those pleading looks she knew she couldn't resist "Come on... indulge me."

With a resigned sigh, Kalinda crushed the cookie flat with her palm, cleared off the debris and picked up the slip of paper.

Alicia looked at her eagerly . "So?"

Kalinda's lips curved into an amused smile at her girlish trepidation. She shook her head and slid the fortune across the desk.

"You don't want to read your fortune?" Alicia tried not to sound too disappointed.

"I told you I don't believe in them so technically it's not mine, it's yours."

Alicia picked up the piece of paper delicately, scanned it then looked up at Kalinda who was putting her leather jacket on.

"Anything good?"

Alicia stammered. "Uh... I don't... know yet."

"I see…" Kalinda nodded with mock gravity. "It has to be 'pondered'."

"Maybe." Alicia replied with an enigmatic smile.

"No earth-shattering revelation, then?"

"Nope."

"Bummer." Kalinda said with a pout. She looked around to check if she had everything. "Listen, I'll get my laptop. Wait for me, ok? I'll walk you to your car."

"Sure."

Alicia smoothed the wrinkles out of the paper and smiled. _That one was definitely a keeper._

She heard the sound of Kalinda's boots crossing the hallway to her office as she was opening her organizer.

"You ready?"

"No. I just… need to do something first." She was rifling through her drawers.

"You'll do that tomorrow. Come on. Get your coat."

She was reaching blindly in her bottom drawer and her fingers connected with what she'd been looking for. She extracted the small stick of glue from under a pile of folders with a triumphant "Ah. I knew there was one somewhere_._"

Kalinda stared at her with a "you're kidding, right?" look. "Alicia... it's late"

Alicia held her friend's gaze and gently, but firmly, she said "I'm doing this, Kalinda. You can go if you don't want to wait."

The investigator replied with one of those wry half smiles of hers. "Now that's the spirit. Why don't I get the elevator while you finish with your urgent scrapbooking?"

Alicia chuckled. "Yes, why don't you do that?"

As she unscrewed the cap, the sweet chemical smell filled the room and flooded her brain with memories of happier, safer times. Something occurred to her. "Kalinda?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't want to know what it says?"

Kalinda's tone reminded her of Grace's when she was asked to eat her vegetables as a kid. "Do I have to?"

Alicia applied glue to the back of the scrap of paper, then picked up the fortune and smoothed it down delicately onto a blank page, reading it again.

_The most important person in your life may very well be right in front of you._

She looked up at Kalinda who was waiting in her doorway. "No. You were right. This one's mine."

"All done?"

"Yep". Alicia collected her purse and slid her coat on. She gave one last glance to the tiny piece of paper. For the first time in months, she had a feeling things would be alright.

* * *

_"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose."_ - Tennessee Williams

Note: So there it is. I found that second fortune in a cookie once when having dinner with my sister after a particularly nasty breakup and as much as I agree with Kalinda on the issue, sometimes you can find nuggets of truth in the most unlikely of places. Romance is just a part of life. True friendship is what makes it all worthwhile.

The line that Alicia and Kalinda quote can be found in "Mercy among the Children: a novel" by David Adams Richards.


End file.
